Harry's Gay
by littlechivalry
Summary: The Golden Trio have to sit down and have a serious discussion. But it may be difficult for one person to accept. Slash, as per the title, but no pairing yet. Also RWHG coupledom, if het doesn't squick you. Read, Enjoy, Review.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. I had the idea two weeks ago and I thought it would be funny. And as my beta/sister DerSaboteur actually laughed while reading it, I was right, which is my favorite thing to be.

(_12345_)

**HARRY'S GAY**

"I'm not gay."

"Look mate," Ron said, "You can tell us. Really."

"I'm not gay," Harry insisted.

On the way back to the tower from dinner, Ron and Hermione had Stunned Harry and dragged him into a small classroom. When he woke up he saw that the walls were decorated with posters of pop musicians, male and female, and playbills for musicals. A large rainbow Pride flag hung over the now-locked door and Harry could hear some faint music playing that sounded like disco. A woman with a thin voice was singing something about 'Xanadu.'

They'd started slowly enough, telling him they understood what he was going through, and that they knew it must be difficult. Then they brought up his romantic history, two quickly failed relationships with boyish girls.

Then they told him he was gay, which brought all three of them to now.

"Look, Harry," Hermione said, using her 'reasonable' voice. "I don't know why you're so stubborn about this. I mean, we know you're gay, and you know you're gay—"

"I know no such thing," Harry insisted.

Ron opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione shushed him, looking at Harry speculatively.

Harry felt the gaze on his skin like a hot light, but refused to squirm.

Her voice musing and mystified, Hermione said, "We know you're gay, you know you're gay…."

"Told you I'm not," Harry muttered.

Hermione grinned widely and clapped her hands together, the LIGHT OF EDUCATION!™ in her eyes.

Turning to Ron and ignoring Harry completely she gushed, "Don't you see, Ron? Harry doesn't know he's gay. He thinks he's straight."

"I don't see how he could think that," Ron replied, also ignoring Harry, "I mean it's pretty obvious."

"Hey," Harry interjected. When the two turned to him, he went on, "I'm not sure what you think you're getting at, but like I said, I'm not gay. I think I would know if I were."

"Harry," Ron said chidingly, "You wear make-up."

Harry reached towards his face, but let his hand drop. "It's only eye liner. The ancient Egyptians wore it to protect their vision from the sun."

"And why do you wear it, honestly," Hermione asked.

"It highlights my eyes," Harry replied. "But the sun thing is true as well."

Hermione smiled, "And what about the girls clothes, Harry?"

Harry felt a fetching pink blush flood his cheeks, "It was an accident, Hermione. The jeans got mixed in with mine."

"Yeah, but you're still wearing them," Ron said.

Harry fidgeted in his girl jeans. He'd worn them accidentally the first time, but they were actually very comfortable so he kept them, even going so far as to ask Ginny where she bought them so he could get a few more pairs.

"And what about the ogling mate," Ron asked, an insinuating look in his eyes.

"I wasn't ogling. I mean, we were in the showers, it's hard not look."

"At Seamus?"

"Well, my God, I mean it's ten inches long. I don't see how that can be humanly possible, outside of porn. And it's so thick I bet I couldn't even wrap my hand around it—"

Harry stared in shock at his own outstretched hand, fingers curled in a loose circle. He felt a fierce heat rise up in his cheeks and laughed awkwardly, dropping his hand to his lap. "Well, I mean. Aren't all boys curious?" Harry looked to Ron for affirmation but the red head just looked back with sympathy in his eyes.

Hermione cleared her throat sharply and held out a stack of pictures, image down.

"Now then Harry, final test. Look at these pictures of women and tell me what you think."

She held up the first and Harry studied it for a moment. It showed a busty brunette dressed as a schoolgirl. Not a nasty school girl, but a demure one, skirt down to her knees and all.

"She's pretty enough I suppose. Her chest is a little big. Not quite my type."

The next showed a pair of red headed twins dressed as good and evil. One wore a black leather mini dress and she stood over the other, wearing white vinyl shorts and a halter top, with a whip in her hands. The 'evil' twin was leering down at her victim, while the 'good' twin winked saucily at the camera.

"I don't really care for red heads anymore, no offense to Ginny. But there's a feisty light in their eyes, they looks like fun."

The next.

Harry studied this one longer. It was a lithe blonde dressed in loose jeans and a tank top. She seemed to be in the middle of something as there was a slight wrinkle in her brow and her pale blue eyes were squinted shut a little. Harry thought it made her look a bit like a kitten.

"I like her, who is she."

Hermione smiled, "Never mind right now. Next."

The next one showed… Harry could feel the heat of embarrassment burn through his hands from the picture to his face. This wasn't just a picture, it was pornographic.

"Definitely not. I mean, she's barely wearing anything at all. And she's so… she's too…" He made hand gestures for an extremely voluptuous chest.

Ron goggled. "Hermione, can I have that picture," the red head asked reaching for it.

Hermione slapped his hand away and added the picture to the stack. "Now Harry, if you're so interested in girls, which one of those four did you prefer and why?"

Harry thought about it for a moment, but he didn't really need the time. "The blonde, number three. She just looks… she just looks interesting. Nice figure, thin and graceful, beautiful hair, smooth skin. Who is she?"

Hermione handed Harry back the picture and as he looked at the blonde longer he could swear he knew her. Her mouth was perfectly bow-shaped and he found himself wanting to trace those supple curves.

"It's Draco Malfoy."

Harry's burgeoning arousal, well covered by the voluminous robes, swelled further at the name. He glared down at the traitor briefly, but tried to keep his voice still and calm, "Malfoy?"

Ron chimed in, "Apparently he took a potion to turn him into a girl for the Slytherin costume party last month. Then he got completely drunk and Blaise had to pull him down from the stripper pole."

"Stripper pole," Harry and Hermione chorused simultaneously, Harry with surprised relish and Hermione with irritation. "They told me they were going to keep such behavior to a minimum," she went on.

"Well, they only had one," Ron said, grinning and red faced.

"And how do you know that, Ronald?"

The two descended into domestic squabble as Harry sank further into his terribly comfortable chair.

He pictured the blonde girl on the pole, her sinuous limbs wrapped around the gleaming surface as she writhed in ecstasy to some really good house music.

Harry crossed his legs loosely to conceal the distinct tent in his robes as the girl in his imagination turned into the very male Draco Malfoy Harry was more used to seeing wearing nothing but skin tight black leather pants as he twisted around the stripper pole, his hair falling over his face and those lips.

In Harry's imagination the Slytherin moved to his knees and crawled towards him, blue-grey eyes peering through rumpled bed hair as the blond boy licked his lips slowly, and with obvious satisfaction.

Imaginary Draco moved closer and sat up on his heels, his long pale torso on display as delicate fingers ran over the muscled chest and down his stomach, twisting through the white-blond trail of hair that disappeared under the waistband of his trousers.

Those fingers moved closer to the row of shining silver buttons, highlighting the turgid length beneath. A smirk crossed Draco's sculpted face and the first button was loosed--

Tucking the picture into his pocket, Harry wrapped his robes more carefully around himself and stood.

"You know what, you're right. I am gay. Gay as gay can be... and I'm going to go be gay… somewhere else."

Ron and Hermione had gone from fighting to snogging, per their usual routine, and they just waved to him as he left the room.

Harry had to find Malfoy.

But first a quick stop in the bathroom to get rid of a not-so-little problem.

Being gay was going to be fun.

(_1234_5)

**Note: **There will be a sequel to this called DRACO'S GAY. I have to do some editing so it will probably be posted tomorrow some time.

For my own amusement I confess that the 'girls' in the pictures that Hermione offered were all boys. The demure brunette was Neville, the feisty red headed twins were Fred and George, and the big-chested pornographic girl was Seamus. I know, he's not a slut in general, but for purposes of this story and its partner he is.

**Request from the Author: **So far, in my fanfiction career, I've written a Veela fic (BECAUSE), a death fic (THE WORLD…), a crossover (MY ANGEL), a makeover fic (HARRY NEEDS A MAKEOVER), and a PWP (HONEY BUNNY, which is the closest to a PWP I'm getting any time soon.)

I was wondering, while Blind Sight is slowing down, if there were any other story types you would be interested in reading. If you've read my other stories and can think of something you might enjoy seeing my spin off, or if there is a certain type of story you particularly enjoy, let me know.

Vampires, kid!fic, song!fic, whatever you'd like. These would be one shots, unless I get particularly inspired.

Okay, review. Tell me what you think of this story and if there are any other stories you'd like to read.


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